So, it's been almost one year since I've posted on my blog. And I stopped feeling guilty about it. When I was blogging regularly, I had a lot more time on my hands. But working 4 days a week, and a full time mum, wife and many other things, I realised that blogging just wasn't a priority, so I didn't even keep thinking about it, let alone feel guilty for not writing.
However, circumstances have changed and I'm hoping to start up my blogging again.
When I last wrote, I was living in Cairns, working for MAF. My family and I are now living in Melbourne and I'm not working at all! Big Spring took a call (he's a Lutheran Pastor) to a new position within the Lutheran Church of Australia (LCA). He's no longer a pastor of a particular parish, but a pastor involved in families, children and youth ministry Australia and NZ wide. He was able to choose to be based out of Adelaide or Melbourne and with all of our families located in Victoria, it made sense that we chose to be based in Melbourne. We moved down two weeks ago, today! We are currently in temporary accommodation while the LCA go through the process of purchasing a manse (house) for us. It's a little frustrating not having all our things (currently in storage), but we did get about 10 boxes of extra personal items to use while we are in this place (a fully furnished house), so it feels a little more like 'home'.
At this stage, I'm not looking to get back into a paid job. I'm actually looking forward to being at home a lot more; I'll have more time for baking and experimental cooking, which I absolutely love doing, but wasn't able to as there just wasn't enough time or energy. It also means that Little Spring will get the best of me, instead of a tired, busy, grumpy mummy after school. I never felt that she got any quality time out of me. I'd be getting home from work (picking her up from after school care on the way home) and just when she wanted to play with me, I'd more often than not have to decline as I needed to clean, cook dinner or collapse on the couch and just relax for a minute. It wasn't ideal and I felt horrible. But now, I can get a lot of that done during the day, ensuring that when she gets home from school, we can have quality time together. And I just LOVE that and our relationship is blossoming more and more!
Basically, this means that, although I might not be blogging on a daily basis, I do hope I can blog more regularly than I have in this past year.
So, welcome back to me and more importantly, welcome back to my regular readers... however many or few that may be!
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Friday, April 24, 2015
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Perhaps a not-so-happy Mother's Day
Mother's Day isn't as easy for some as it is for others. For many years I struggled with it, while we struggled to get pregnant. Now that I'm a mum, it doesn't fill me with such dread, but I am acutely aware that this day will not be quite the celebration for everyone.
To the woman whose deepest desire is to be a mother, but can not fall pregnant;
To the mother who has a child who she had to say goodbye to too early;
To the child who has lost their mother;
To the mother who is separated from their child;
I know that there are no words to comfort you during this time, but I pray that you do find the peace you need today.
To the woman whose deepest desire is to be a mother, but can not fall pregnant, I pray that God grants you the desires of your heart and fills your womb with a baby. If this is not God's will for your life, I pray that God gives you peace and comforts your heart.
To the mother who has a child who she had to say goodbye to too early, I pray that you are surrounded by people who understand your pain, who know that your beautiful child will always be in your heart and that your child can never be replaced.
To the child who has lost their mother, I pray that you find peace in your heart. I pray especially to the child who's dealing with their first Mother's Day without their mother.
To the mother who is separated from their child I pray that whatever it is that is keeping you from your child, that God would work a miracle so you can see your child or at least be able to be in contact with them.
I know that I have not covered all scenarios that cause Mother's Day to be not so joyous for people, but you are still in my prayers. I can not fully know how you must be feeling, and will not pretend to understand. But I can and do pray for you; for those of you who I know, and for those of you who I do not know.
To the woman whose deepest desire is to be a mother, but can not fall pregnant;
To the mother who has a child who she had to say goodbye to too early;
To the child who has lost their mother;
To the mother who is separated from their child;
I know that there are no words to comfort you during this time, but I pray that you do find the peace you need today.
To the woman whose deepest desire is to be a mother, but can not fall pregnant, I pray that God grants you the desires of your heart and fills your womb with a baby. If this is not God's will for your life, I pray that God gives you peace and comforts your heart.
To the mother who has a child who she had to say goodbye to too early, I pray that you are surrounded by people who understand your pain, who know that your beautiful child will always be in your heart and that your child can never be replaced.
To the child who has lost their mother, I pray that you find peace in your heart. I pray especially to the child who's dealing with their first Mother's Day without their mother.
To the mother who is separated from their child I pray that whatever it is that is keeping you from your child, that God would work a miracle so you can see your child or at least be able to be in contact with them.
I know that I have not covered all scenarios that cause Mother's Day to be not so joyous for people, but you are still in my prayers. I can not fully know how you must be feeling, and will not pretend to understand. But I can and do pray for you; for those of you who I know, and for those of you who I do not know.
Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.
He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Retreat
Retreat: Yes, I went on a women's retreat last weekend, but I'm not talking about that retreat in this post (I hope to post about that another time though).
I'm talking about a personal retreat. I'm longing for one. I need one. I'm desperate for one. This past week has got me thinking about many, many things. Assessing my life and realising how ridiculously busy it is. Realising the unrealistic expectations I've placed on myself. And realising that I don't think I actually know who I am anymore. I have no doubt about my role as a wife and a mother, but beyond that, I've been thinking a lot about who I actually am as a person. Who I really am and assessing why I do the things I do.
I want to go away for at least 24 hours and spend time in prayer, meditation, devotion and answer some tough questions I've asked myself. This morning when I woke up (well, when I got woken up by darling Little Spring - no sleep in for me!), I started to write down all the questions I want to answer... 4 A4 pages worth of questions. I'm now in the process of trying to track down some sort of resource that will help guide me through all these thoughts swirling around in my head. If you've ever come across any sort of 'personal retreat' resource that you can recommend, I would really appreciate you passing this information on to me. My focus really is "who am I". I need God's guidance through this, but if you have any suggestions for resources, specific bible readings for me to mediate through, etc. that would be super helpful!
I'm talking about a personal retreat. I'm longing for one. I need one. I'm desperate for one. This past week has got me thinking about many, many things. Assessing my life and realising how ridiculously busy it is. Realising the unrealistic expectations I've placed on myself. And realising that I don't think I actually know who I am anymore. I have no doubt about my role as a wife and a mother, but beyond that, I've been thinking a lot about who I actually am as a person. Who I really am and assessing why I do the things I do.
I want to go away for at least 24 hours and spend time in prayer, meditation, devotion and answer some tough questions I've asked myself. This morning when I woke up (well, when I got woken up by darling Little Spring - no sleep in for me!), I started to write down all the questions I want to answer... 4 A4 pages worth of questions. I'm now in the process of trying to track down some sort of resource that will help guide me through all these thoughts swirling around in my head. If you've ever come across any sort of 'personal retreat' resource that you can recommend, I would really appreciate you passing this information on to me. My focus really is "who am I". I need God's guidance through this, but if you have any suggestions for resources, specific bible readings for me to mediate through, etc. that would be super helpful!
(image credit: taken by my Aunty Ellen)
Not Recommended
I don't recommend attempting the following:
In one same week:
Yep, totally experienced it! How did I 'survive' (I've put that in inverted commas, because because I don't feel I really survived it, but I'm here on the other side, still breathing, so there is some element of survival):
In one same week:
- starting a major diet/exercise regime (12WBT) AND
- having your husband overseas AND
- having a job that is new in itself, so getting ready in the morning is still 'interesting' AND
- having to get your daughter ready for day care for the first time (when your husband normally does that) each morning, whilst trying to get yourself ready, and deal with her separation anxiety AND
- starting that week with a weekend away at a women's retreat, so you're already behind before you've even started your week
Yep, totally experienced it! How did I 'survive' (I've put that in inverted commas, because because I don't feel I really survived it, but I'm here on the other side, still breathing, so there is some element of survival):
- being kind to myself, first by stopping the exercises. I forced myself to do exercises on Monday, even though, after a very long day, I really didn't want to. I decided on Tuesday that exercise wasn't going to actually help me this week: just stress me out, make me feel guilty if I didn't do it and take up precious time that I didn't have much spare of. I'm not saying that exercise isn't important, but I am saying you have to realistic. Even Michelle Bridges acknowledges in her preseason tasks - "external excuses outside of your control". While sticking to just the diet aspect of the program, from the Monday morning weigh to the Wednesday morning weigh in, I'd lost an amazing 1.3kg! By the end of the week, however, even trying to stick to the menu plan was stressing me. With so many extra factors lumped on my life this passed week, not having flexibility with what I was eating was having me stressed. Where possible, I tried to move the menu items around to fit how energetic I was, therefore, what meal preparation would suit. A kind friend that I debriefed with yesterday had wonderful words of wisdom to share with me. Be kind to myself. It's okay if I don't stick to the program. My expectations of myself were too high and I needed to drop them. As long as I make sensible food choices, it doesn't matter if I don't stick to the plan. What a weight off (pun not intended!).
- there's not much I could do about Big Spring being overseas, but obviously if we'd realised everything that was going to happen this week and how it all fell together (or fell apart!), then a few months ago, we might have reconsidered agreeing he should go to the States for a conference (the 20-20 vision of hindsight is amazingly clear!). However, having WiFi/internet available, has been a blessing to talk to him for free and the invention of Skype is so amazing. Every night Little Spring and I chatted with Big Spring and we had our nightly bedtime routine, including blessings and prayers together. Such commitment from Big Spring to do this though: he had to get up at 5am to match Little Spring's bedtime. And he's not a morning person!
- again, there's not really a lot I could have done about my new job. If we'd realised how big a week this was going to be, perhaps we would have reconsidered me accepting the position, but for just such a short period, it doesn't seem a very realistic way of making that decision. We maybe could have deferred my start date for a further few weeks, but I don't think that would have been very realistic for my employers.
- in regards to getting Little Spring ready in the morning, it was a matter of getting as much ready the night before, which was quite difficult at the end of an already long day! I had teed up with work, however, that I'd be getting into work late while Big Spring is overseas, so it took the pressure off getting out the door on time. Addressing Little Spring's separation anxiety has been stressful and emotional. It's unfortunate that we were dealing with it in this particular week, but no matter when she started day care, we'd have to deal with this and push through.
- I could have cancelled the retreat, but it was something I was really looking forward to and, although it had me starting my week on the back foot, I was SO glad to have gone... I really appreciated the bible study and it was wonderful to bond more deeply with some beautiful women from the church. I had so much fun!
Friday, July 20, 2012
Big Changes
So, yes... as I was saying in my last post, I'm going to be starting back at work next month! Does it seem like this has happened out of the blue? That's because it did happen out of the blue! Here's the story...
Big Spring and I have previously discussed me going back to work part-time while putting Amy in 3yo kinder next year, but when an opportunity arose recently, we decided to relook at things and assess the possibilities.
Big Spring received an email from MAF (Mission Aviation Fellowship) asking him to let his church know of a vacant position for “Personal Assistant to Regional Director (RD) and Senior Staff /Receptionist-Office Coordinator”. After some discussion (especially because the job ad mentioned that the role is full-time but applicants wanting to work less hours may be considered), we decided I should get more information on what the actual role was and what ‘less hours’ meant. They emailed me the job description and said they would consider less hours for the right person – they wanted the role to work for both parties, so would negotiate accordingly. As I read through the job description, I fell in love with the role. I then started looking on MAF’s website, to find more information about them. As I read through what they do, I got so passionate about wanting to serve with them.
After much more prayer, we decided that I should apply for the position, so I emailed my resume. They advised they would contact me by the end of the following week, however, the next day, I received an email saying that HR had a meeting and decided to get selected applicants to go through a practical exercise to help in their selection for interview. Wow! One step closer to the position! I thought the practical (a week later) went really well and later that day, I got a call to say they’d like to interview me, so a time was arranged for the following Monday.
What an interview… it went for 1hr 15min with a panel of 3 people. I felt that some of it went really well, but for (what seemed like) much of it, bumbled my way through it and thought it was just disastrous and figured that was the end of any hope of getting the job. As I left, they told me that I should find out by the end of the week if I had been successful. Imagine my surprise when I received a call the following morning saying that they were delighted to offer me the position! I took them up on the offer to think about it for the day before accepting. After continued prayer and much thought, I rang back in the afternoon to say that I would love to accept the job. Oh my goodness!
Obviously in between all of this going on, Big Spring and I had a lot on our minds! I was constantly thinking about it and praying, pleading with God to give me a clear answer whether this was the right thing to be applying for the job. We took each step as it came and hoped and prayed we were following God’s Will.
So what does this all mean for us? Well, I’ll be working from 8am-3:30pm Monday to Friday. Little Spring will be in child care 4 days a week and Big Spring will look after her on his day off. The one we are most likely to send her to is literally just around the corner from us, a minute’s walk away, so nice and close.
I’ll be starting on 13th August and of course have a mixture of excitement, nervousness and everything in between!
If you'd like to know what MAF is and what they do, click on the link above to take you to their website. If nothing else, please check out their "Impact" page and watch some of their videos. It's truly inspirational stuff! Here's one in particular, from their US site, so you don't even have to leave this page!
Big Spring and I have previously discussed me going back to work part-time while putting Amy in 3yo kinder next year, but when an opportunity arose recently, we decided to relook at things and assess the possibilities.
Big Spring received an email from MAF (Mission Aviation Fellowship) asking him to let his church know of a vacant position for “Personal Assistant to Regional Director (RD) and Senior Staff /Receptionist-Office Coordinator”. After some discussion (especially because the job ad mentioned that the role is full-time but applicants wanting to work less hours may be considered), we decided I should get more information on what the actual role was and what ‘less hours’ meant. They emailed me the job description and said they would consider less hours for the right person – they wanted the role to work for both parties, so would negotiate accordingly. As I read through the job description, I fell in love with the role. I then started looking on MAF’s website, to find more information about them. As I read through what they do, I got so passionate about wanting to serve with them.
After much more prayer, we decided that I should apply for the position, so I emailed my resume. They advised they would contact me by the end of the following week, however, the next day, I received an email saying that HR had a meeting and decided to get selected applicants to go through a practical exercise to help in their selection for interview. Wow! One step closer to the position! I thought the practical (a week later) went really well and later that day, I got a call to say they’d like to interview me, so a time was arranged for the following Monday.
What an interview… it went for 1hr 15min with a panel of 3 people. I felt that some of it went really well, but for (what seemed like) much of it, bumbled my way through it and thought it was just disastrous and figured that was the end of any hope of getting the job. As I left, they told me that I should find out by the end of the week if I had been successful. Imagine my surprise when I received a call the following morning saying that they were delighted to offer me the position! I took them up on the offer to think about it for the day before accepting. After continued prayer and much thought, I rang back in the afternoon to say that I would love to accept the job. Oh my goodness!
Obviously in between all of this going on, Big Spring and I had a lot on our minds! I was constantly thinking about it and praying, pleading with God to give me a clear answer whether this was the right thing to be applying for the job. We took each step as it came and hoped and prayed we were following God’s Will.
So what does this all mean for us? Well, I’ll be working from 8am-3:30pm Monday to Friday. Little Spring will be in child care 4 days a week and Big Spring will look after her on his day off. The one we are most likely to send her to is literally just around the corner from us, a minute’s walk away, so nice and close.
I’ll be starting on 13th August and of course have a mixture of excitement, nervousness and everything in between!
If you'd like to know what MAF is and what they do, click on the link above to take you to their website. If nothing else, please check out their "Impact" page and watch some of their videos. It's truly inspirational stuff! Here's one in particular, from their US site, so you don't even have to leave this page!
Reverse Maternity Leave
Reverse Maternity Leave \ri-ˈvərs\ \mə-ˈtər-nə-tē\ \ˈlēv\ n. opposite or contrary to <reverse order> a period of paid absence from work, to which a woman is legally entitled during the months immediately before childbirth.
I came up with that little definition by splicing together the definitions of the words on their own. And why would I do that? Because I had to come up with a name for the period of time I am currently in and how it feels.
I don't speak for everyone, of course, but I think for many women, when they leave work on maternity leave, before having their baby, they spend the time preparing the home... cleaning every nook and cranny, baking and cooking up a storm to stash in the freezer, ensuring the nursery is just right and ready to bring home baby, frantically trying to fit in all those projects you know you won't ever touch again after baby comes along and treasuring the quiet time to relax and kick back, because you know you'll forget what "quiet time" and "relax" means in future and they will, in fact, become a redundant concept!
I came up with that little definition by splicing together the definitions of the words on their own. And why would I do that? Because I had to come up with a name for the period of time I am currently in and how it feels.
I don't speak for everyone, of course, but I think for many women, when they leave work on maternity leave, before having their baby, they spend the time preparing the home... cleaning every nook and cranny, baking and cooking up a storm to stash in the freezer, ensuring the nursery is just right and ready to bring home baby, frantically trying to fit in all those projects you know you won't ever touch again after baby comes along and treasuring the quiet time to relax and kick back, because you know you'll forget what "quiet time" and "relax" means in future and they will, in fact, become a redundant concept!
So, what does this all have to do with me? Well, I’m now thinking about all the things I
need/want to get done before I return back to work next month. The list is growing in my head and I know it’s
going to have to spill out onto paper if I want to keep track of everything.
“Hang on, back up,” I hear you saying. “Before I return back to work next month?” Yep, you read correctly! If you haven’t already heard, you’re probably
thinking you’ve missed something! And
you have, except it’s not your fault because I haven’t written about it on my
blog until now. I’ll tell you more about
it in a minute, but in the meantime, I want to get back to this “Reverse Maternity
Leave” concept.
As I was saying, I have a growing list in my head of all the
things I need/want to get done before I start work. I’m thinking about:
- getting the house thoroughly clean now so that I can try and maintain the cleanliness on a much more manageable level.
- baking and cooking to put in the freezer so we have ‘emergency’ food for the times I don’t feel like cooking or don’t have time after a long day.
- starting to look at what routines I’ll put in place to manage my time well (using my activity list – I’ll need to make some new tags!)
- organising all the things Little Spring will need for child care – clothes labelled, spare clothes in abundance, toilet train her (Big Spring is doing a wonderful job of taking that in hand today!), paperwork to enrol her, register her with Centrelink in order to claim the costs, start taking her to the centre a few times, to help familiarise herself with the other kids, staff and surroundings.
- fitting in some pampering for myself to feel nice and refreshed for my first day – massage (got a voucher for mother’s day… the perfect time to use it!) and pedicure/manicure.
- buying new clothes – I got rid of all my corporate wear when I decided not to return to work after my maternity leave ran out. I figured that I’d had all the clothes for so long that I was due new ones when I eventually went back to work anyway!
- trying to knock off some of my 36 to 36 list, especially the ones that involve helping me clear out my office here at home. It’s a huge, unorganised mess at the moment and it deflates me every time I walk in here!
All this feels very similar to how I felt when I left my
last place of employment before having Little Spring way back in 2009! There are obviously some different tasks to
when I went on maternity leave, but the concept is the same. It got me thinking about a name for this period
and I did try inventing a whole new word, but couldn’t come up with anything
catchy enough, so a splice of words that gets the meaning across would have to
do!
Now, I did promise to tell you more about this new job of
mine, but I think that this post is already long enough, so instead, I’ll do a
whole new post on it. Stay tuned for the
next post, or if you’re reading this later down the track, I’ll link you to the
post here.
Friday, June 22, 2012
#36 (36 to 36)
I've started another task on my list today... Number 36:
Firstly I purchased all the 'supplies' I would need - stickers, Freddo Frogs, and small & major achievement rewards. It was a little hard finding the smaller toys... I didn't want to buy anything too 'cheap and nasty' but I didn't want to spend lots of money either, so I found toys that had multiple elements in the packet that could be divided up into a number of rewards (playdoh sets, cooking sets etc) and found a couple bargains in the $1 bin in Big W. There was also a 'throw away' bin of some great toys that are normally quite expensive but they were getting rid of them really cheaply that I could use for the major achievement rewards (Snow White and 2 Dwarf figurines). Secondly, in true Nelle fashion, I went a little OCD on the details of the chart and printed something out and laminated it. I laminated it so that Little Spring could stick her stickers on it, but could reuse it as required and not have to print it off each time we restarted or filled it up. Laminating also protects the paper from getting tatty. Anyway, here's the plan...
Little Spring's reward chart and stickers. For every wee she does, she gets 1 sticker. For every poo she does, she gets 2 stickers. I bought 2 types of stickers for her to choose from - stars and flowers in a multitude of colours. Little Spring knows shapes and colours well, but for children that don't, this chart would also have a bonus learning element when choosing their sticker/s. It does, however, help Little Spring with her counting and she can actually see the value of counting in a 'real life' situation.
I know that there are some very conflicting views on how to teach a child to become toilet trained (like all child-rearing, everyone has their own view and there is never one way that everyone agrees on), so I understand that some readers may not agree with our method, and that's okay. I'd love to hear your own method (please leave a comment below), but please don't judge us for ours.
I included a picture of Jemima from Playschool on Little Spring's chart as I wanted something familiar on there. She received Jemima at the recent concert she went to and loves her. Jemima will help her count the stickers and I'm hoping I can use the actual doll as a way of connecting on a different level. Anyway, once Little Spring has achieved 5 stars in a day, she receives a Freddo Frog.
I was going to have a "small achievement reward" at the end of 7 days, but as I had so many things up my sleeve, and 7 days is a long time for Little Spring's age, we decided to change to every 2 days. I put all the rewards in a box and she can choose one thing out of the box each time.
At the end of 7 days, Little Spring can then choose her major reward of a Disney character. Once we have our first full successful week, I'll tweak the reward system accordingly. I have no idea how this will go and it could possibly be a complete flop! Big Spring and I are on the same page, however and don't want to push her in anyway. We are offering her the incentives and encouraging her to use the potty or toilet (her choice of which), but it will be up to her to say yes. If she says no, that's fine (disappointing, but fine!) and we'll ask again later. So, that's the plan... wish us luck and please let me know your thoughts on toilet training (how you toilet trained, how successful you were and your advice etc)...
I asked the question "Parents: I need some advice! Would love your feedback on how and when you toilet trained your child/ren... and whether you'd do the same again. Did they fight against it, or was it their choice/did it willingly?" and received these answers (with some very minor editing on my part):
Mum #1: I was 'told' that I should start toilet training Lachlan because he was 2 and leading into summer. So I started and I would not do that again as what followed for 2yrs of pain. Both girls though were wanting to wear undies before I was ready and despite me trying to hold off both basically toilet trained themselves by the time they were 2 and half. My recommendation they will let you know when they are a little interested. Encourage but don't stress if are are not showing any indication that they want to be toilet training at the 'right age". Each child will progress at their own pace.
Mum #2: With my children summer Autumn was the best time to toilet train them. Good QLD weather is the best for that. Mine were easy to train. I never stressed about it and I encouraged them. I had 2 summer babies and 2 winter ones. While I say it was easy, I know some parents do have their struggles.
Mum #3: Josh my first was so easy, summer times a great time and he was 2. Tyler started well at 2 but then decided he didn't want to do it anymore so back to nappies, then I was worrying cause he was coming up 3 and had no interest, but some slight encouragement and he decided he was right, and Hayley did the same started at 2 was doing really well then just decided she didn't want to, gave her a month or two and we tried again and she's doing excellent even out of night nappies now and she's 3 next month, but I don't think it should be forced; encouraged but they know when they are ready.
Mum #4: Cloth nappies, if you have them are a great way to introduce the sensation of wet to your little one. I basically start when then can pull on and take off their pants. I don't use pull ups, particularly in the early training as they are too much like undies and seems to confuse things. I also time wees, and have recently seen an expert article suggest that this is better than teaching them to hold on. To begin with, on the hour, and then tweak it up or down to give the child easy success. Noting that a big drink can be followed sooner than you think by the wee. And becoming a broken record of "poos go in the toilet" or "wees go in the toilet"...but not a frustrated record. And don't ask me about poo training, I've just finished with no4 and still don't have a clear plan as timing has never worked for me. I always get the wees first. If they are young, 1-2.5 years, its important for the adults to be responsible for reminding when to go, as they are a bit young to take on the responsibility by themselves.
Mum #5: We're just mucking around with toilet training - had first accident today and not sure I can be bothered pursuing this. But we're home this afternoon so we'll go nappy free again and see how that goes! Pity it's the beginning of winter - agree summer would be a better time
Mum #6: Have you ever seen a 21 year old in nappies? No I had trouble with my youngest, he has a lot of tummy and bottom issues; at first I was stressed as I wanted him trained to go to 3 year old kinder when he was about to turn 4. First he had no idea there was no hold gesture or anything. Then I placed Undies inside the pullup... they feel the wet but your flooring does not! I became really stressed as birthday 4 came and he did not go! One day I kid you not I put him in undies to teach him, he wet them, I slipped on the wee not knowing it was there fell on my back and hurt myself! he saw it all happen, and went to the toilet after that. Cyndi was 3 and so was Josh. It is in normal range! ask but do not stress, she will when she wants, my story proves it. Josh started just after 3 cos he was scared of the toilet and hated the potty, he went toilet because they changed the pull up design from mickey mouse to buzz light year, he was not happy and decided toilet was better. Its not just about the feeling the need to go its all about confidence. Some are good and some are unsure. Keep yourself happy and it will happen. Do not listen to braggers. Last year in prep there were two mums who bragged their children were trained at 18 months.... but those very same children pooed in their pants on a regular basis! Cyndi decided to go to toilet when she saw what was in Joshua's nappy and disliked the dirty look! they are all different. it will happen
Mum #7: When I pushed the issue nothing happened. I just took my cues from him!
Mum #8: Too long ago to remember! Pull-ups were great for night.
Mum #9: Someone once told me that if the parents use the toilet, the children will eventually use it too! I had two in nappies at one time, but I don't remember toilet training to be a big issue. What I would have given for pull-ups!!!!
Mum #10: I reckon later is better than too early - the earlier ones seem to be having more accidents for longer. I had two aborted attempts due to F screaming about having to do poos. I did the naughty thing and actually pushed her on this on the 3rd attempt as I knew she was pretty much okay for wees - took a day of lots of tears but from them on was pretty much trained (27 months or so). We had a box of treats and a chart (with rows of 10 dots) and she got one sticker for a wee and two for a poo and she would stick them on her chart - once she had 10 she could pick something out of the box. Worked a treat. For a few days she was focused on the stickers but soon forgot asking for them and although we kept them for the odd big treat, that was it. First few weeks out and about are a bit touchy ... dreading that bit!! But good luck!
Mum #11: I toilet trained Tom at about 3, and Maddy toilet trained herself at 2.5, I made her wait until I was on annual leave, she was ready earlier. Both only took about a week, it's just waiting for their cues. If you do it too early it's pain for everyone involved. Don't feel pressured from anyone.
Mum #12: There was some resistance from both boys for about a week, but with toilet training charts etc. they slowly got the hang of it. Girls are meant to get it quicker and drier! No 2 is still having accidents before he knows to go and it's been nearly 9 months of undies now! None of us mind. My fault - I forget to do the hourly reminder to go. Easily by 2 1/2 y.o.
Mum #13: A wise person once told me, "If the parents are toilet trained, then the children will be too!" [Guess which 2 sisters responded to my question on Facebook, with the same answers?!]
Mum #14: My advice would be look for cues eg- sometimes she might actually stop what she's doing and realize she is weeing then use that to talk about going to toilet etc... Everyone has their own way of doing it and some start early some later, with kiara I followed "the book" and it was more stressful than anything and I took her to doctors thinking something was wrong with her he gave me best advice wait for her and I've done that with other 2 and been much more successful you can always encourage to by taking Little Spring to choose her own knickers. Do what works for you two and follow your mother instinct; better to be patient and get it right then rush it because somebody tells you it's time.
Mum #15: Caleb has a star chart and if he did a wee he got a star. If he got 5 stars in a day he got a Chocky Frog. If he got 5 stars a day for 7 days he got a match box car. Poo's was a whole different story.I asked him about every 45 minutes to start with and made sure I was home most of the day. He was not quite 3 and after two weeks we had no wet pants - again poo's a whole other story!
Mum #16: We are only just approaching this milestone with Micah. I found this article helpful: http://www.regardingbaby.org/2011/11/28/toilet-learning-made-easy/ As a result, I purchased a couple of the books she recommended and Micah LOVES them. He wants to read them at bed time every night!! He hasn't used the potty yet but he is doing LOTS of potty role playing and conversation. I know he will get there and will just follow his cues while providing an environment that encourages the use of the potty.
Mum #17: I agree with the others who say to wait until they are ready. Just after Ruby turned two she was ready, but we were so busy with end of year stuff and Christmas that we missed our opportunity. Also as her big disabled brother is still in nappies we didn't push the issue. She asked to go a couple times during the year but it wasn't until the week before her third birthday when she said "mum, I want to wear knickers now", got some Dora ones for her birthday and never looked back. Well, I exaggerate, it wasn't that easy.. Lots of accidents, especially when over-tired or distracted, but a couple of months later I thought 'wow I haven't had an accident in a while'. The same thing happened with night nappies a few months later.
Mum #18: We let H pick a potty and some undies a while back and talked to him about big boys wearing undies. We'd ask him occasionally if he wanted to use the potty or wear undies and he'd say "soon". My folks were over at Easter and he decided to go into undies then. I then just kept reminding him to keep his undies dry and use the potty if he needed to go. I had a packet of these Cadbury tiny egg-shaped M&M things and gave him one when he produced something in potty in addition to lavish praise. Took about a week and a half -set back a bit as he wouldn't use potty at child care. So we're lucky in that when he decided he was ready, he just got it.
Mum #19: After telling me for a few weeks when he had a dirty nappy, a week before master 3's birthday I started sitting him on the potty in front of the tv for 10 mins immediately after breakfast (a treat for him!), just to get him used it. After a week he actually used it, and he was rewarded with a mini M&M from a tube I had bought. I told him he could get more if he used the potty more, and he was successful a few more times that day, but the next day he used it something like 20 times to get a choc! I ended alternating between the chocs and a bottle of bubbles that he could blow after using the potty. Only had a few accidents, but with constant reminding about needing to wee (you need to wee before we do such-and-such) he very easily made the transition to the toilet. I think that was the main thing - we had him in jocks from when he started using the potty, then I made it that he had to pee before we did anything (before morning tea, before we went outside, before we went in the car etc), and made it clear that we weren't going anywhere until he had been.
He chose his own jocks at the shop. He had been waiting until night time for a nappy for number 2s for the first 3 nights, so we set up a reward chart to encourage number 2's, and he was able to pick a small car at the shop after 10 stars. We flew to Sydney for a weekend on day 3 of training (not ideal timing, but he was ready and we didn't want to stop him), and rewarded him with a bigger chocolate when he was successful with number 2's for the first time on the toilet. Only one accident that weekend and that was when we didn't ask him to wee before he fell asleep in the pram. We restricted drinks after tea and he has only wet a handful of times overnight since training. We didn't want him to be dependent on pull-ups so we only used them for a couple of weeks, cos I know too many 5 year-olds who still need to wear them. For a while, if he refused to go to the toilet before bed we'd tell him that he needed to wear a pull-up, and he decided before long that he was a big boy and wanted to wear jocks. Definitely helped that he was ready. The right incentive helps too (helps with all manner of 'training'), but it doesn't have to be expensive or too excessive (I never thought a bottle of bubbles and mini M&M's would work for toilet training, but it did!!).
Be more intentional with Little Spring's toilet training, without pushing her. Look into it a lot more (have already Facebook researched it amongst friends) for hints, tips etc.Basically, using the feedback I received from my friends on Facebook, I decided to just go ahead and start a new method for Little Spring's toilet/potty training. There is SO much information on the web, that it can all get a bit confusing and overwhelming, so thought I'd go with what I sort of already thought, that was confirmed or enhanced further by the feedback. To condense what I wrote on Facebook in my response to everyone's feedback: I've heard it before, but they all confirmed it for me that basically it should be child-led, not parent-led and not to push until they are ready themselves. For quite awhile now, we've kept Little Spring in nappies, but encouraged her to sit on the potty and do wees. She then gets half a snake for her efforts. She's now refusing the potty more (I've heard kids can regress for a little while) and thought I might step up the effort, with a different tact. After reading all the experiences of my "Mum" friends, I liked the idea of a chart... Little Spring's at a better age to understand what that means now. I don't want to push Little Spring too much, especially after I've heard a number of mums comment about the heartache and wasted effort, when ultimately the child really decides they're ready, but think a change of tact and vamped up effort might work.
Firstly I purchased all the 'supplies' I would need - stickers, Freddo Frogs, and small & major achievement rewards. It was a little hard finding the smaller toys... I didn't want to buy anything too 'cheap and nasty' but I didn't want to spend lots of money either, so I found toys that had multiple elements in the packet that could be divided up into a number of rewards (playdoh sets, cooking sets etc) and found a couple bargains in the $1 bin in Big W. There was also a 'throw away' bin of some great toys that are normally quite expensive but they were getting rid of them really cheaply that I could use for the major achievement rewards (Snow White and 2 Dwarf figurines). Secondly, in true Nelle fashion, I went a little OCD on the details of the chart and printed something out and laminated it. I laminated it so that Little Spring could stick her stickers on it, but could reuse it as required and not have to print it off each time we restarted or filled it up. Laminating also protects the paper from getting tatty. Anyway, here's the plan...
Little Spring's reward chart and stickers. For every wee she does, she gets 1 sticker. For every poo she does, she gets 2 stickers. I bought 2 types of stickers for her to choose from - stars and flowers in a multitude of colours. Little Spring knows shapes and colours well, but for children that don't, this chart would also have a bonus learning element when choosing their sticker/s. It does, however, help Little Spring with her counting and she can actually see the value of counting in a 'real life' situation.
I know that there are some very conflicting views on how to teach a child to become toilet trained (like all child-rearing, everyone has their own view and there is never one way that everyone agrees on), so I understand that some readers may not agree with our method, and that's okay. I'd love to hear your own method (please leave a comment below), but please don't judge us for ours.
I included a picture of Jemima from Playschool on Little Spring's chart as I wanted something familiar on there. She received Jemima at the recent concert she went to and loves her. Jemima will help her count the stickers and I'm hoping I can use the actual doll as a way of connecting on a different level. Anyway, once Little Spring has achieved 5 stars in a day, she receives a Freddo Frog.
I was going to have a "small achievement reward" at the end of 7 days, but as I had so many things up my sleeve, and 7 days is a long time for Little Spring's age, we decided to change to every 2 days. I put all the rewards in a box and she can choose one thing out of the box each time.
At the end of 7 days, Little Spring can then choose her major reward of a Disney character. Once we have our first full successful week, I'll tweak the reward system accordingly. I have no idea how this will go and it could possibly be a complete flop! Big Spring and I are on the same page, however and don't want to push her in anyway. We are offering her the incentives and encouraging her to use the potty or toilet (her choice of which), but it will be up to her to say yes. If she says no, that's fine (disappointing, but fine!) and we'll ask again later. So, that's the plan... wish us luck and please let me know your thoughts on toilet training (how you toilet trained, how successful you were and your advice etc)...
~~~~~~~~
Further reading: If you are interested in the information I collated from Facebook here it is:I asked the question "Parents: I need some advice! Would love your feedback on how and when you toilet trained your child/ren... and whether you'd do the same again. Did they fight against it, or was it their choice/did it willingly?" and received these answers (with some very minor editing on my part):
Mum #1: I was 'told' that I should start toilet training Lachlan because he was 2 and leading into summer. So I started and I would not do that again as what followed for 2yrs of pain. Both girls though were wanting to wear undies before I was ready and despite me trying to hold off both basically toilet trained themselves by the time they were 2 and half. My recommendation they will let you know when they are a little interested. Encourage but don't stress if are are not showing any indication that they want to be toilet training at the 'right age". Each child will progress at their own pace.
Mum #2: With my children summer Autumn was the best time to toilet train them. Good QLD weather is the best for that. Mine were easy to train. I never stressed about it and I encouraged them. I had 2 summer babies and 2 winter ones. While I say it was easy, I know some parents do have their struggles.
Mum #3: Josh my first was so easy, summer times a great time and he was 2. Tyler started well at 2 but then decided he didn't want to do it anymore so back to nappies, then I was worrying cause he was coming up 3 and had no interest, but some slight encouragement and he decided he was right, and Hayley did the same started at 2 was doing really well then just decided she didn't want to, gave her a month or two and we tried again and she's doing excellent even out of night nappies now and she's 3 next month, but I don't think it should be forced; encouraged but they know when they are ready.
Mum #4: Cloth nappies, if you have them are a great way to introduce the sensation of wet to your little one. I basically start when then can pull on and take off their pants. I don't use pull ups, particularly in the early training as they are too much like undies and seems to confuse things. I also time wees, and have recently seen an expert article suggest that this is better than teaching them to hold on. To begin with, on the hour, and then tweak it up or down to give the child easy success. Noting that a big drink can be followed sooner than you think by the wee. And becoming a broken record of "poos go in the toilet" or "wees go in the toilet"...but not a frustrated record. And don't ask me about poo training, I've just finished with no4 and still don't have a clear plan as timing has never worked for me. I always get the wees first. If they are young, 1-2.5 years, its important for the adults to be responsible for reminding when to go, as they are a bit young to take on the responsibility by themselves.
Mum #5: We're just mucking around with toilet training - had first accident today and not sure I can be bothered pursuing this. But we're home this afternoon so we'll go nappy free again and see how that goes! Pity it's the beginning of winter - agree summer would be a better time
Mum #6: Have you ever seen a 21 year old in nappies? No I had trouble with my youngest, he has a lot of tummy and bottom issues; at first I was stressed as I wanted him trained to go to 3 year old kinder when he was about to turn 4. First he had no idea there was no hold gesture or anything. Then I placed Undies inside the pullup... they feel the wet but your flooring does not! I became really stressed as birthday 4 came and he did not go! One day I kid you not I put him in undies to teach him, he wet them, I slipped on the wee not knowing it was there fell on my back and hurt myself! he saw it all happen, and went to the toilet after that. Cyndi was 3 and so was Josh. It is in normal range! ask but do not stress, she will when she wants, my story proves it. Josh started just after 3 cos he was scared of the toilet and hated the potty, he went toilet because they changed the pull up design from mickey mouse to buzz light year, he was not happy and decided toilet was better. Its not just about the feeling the need to go its all about confidence. Some are good and some are unsure. Keep yourself happy and it will happen. Do not listen to braggers. Last year in prep there were two mums who bragged their children were trained at 18 months.... but those very same children pooed in their pants on a regular basis! Cyndi decided to go to toilet when she saw what was in Joshua's nappy and disliked the dirty look! they are all different. it will happen
Mum #7: When I pushed the issue nothing happened. I just took my cues from him!
Mum #8: Too long ago to remember! Pull-ups were great for night.
Mum #9: Someone once told me that if the parents use the toilet, the children will eventually use it too! I had two in nappies at one time, but I don't remember toilet training to be a big issue. What I would have given for pull-ups!!!!
Mum #10: I reckon later is better than too early - the earlier ones seem to be having more accidents for longer. I had two aborted attempts due to F screaming about having to do poos. I did the naughty thing and actually pushed her on this on the 3rd attempt as I knew she was pretty much okay for wees - took a day of lots of tears but from them on was pretty much trained (27 months or so). We had a box of treats and a chart (with rows of 10 dots) and she got one sticker for a wee and two for a poo and she would stick them on her chart - once she had 10 she could pick something out of the box. Worked a treat. For a few days she was focused on the stickers but soon forgot asking for them and although we kept them for the odd big treat, that was it. First few weeks out and about are a bit touchy ... dreading that bit!! But good luck!
Mum #11: I toilet trained Tom at about 3, and Maddy toilet trained herself at 2.5, I made her wait until I was on annual leave, she was ready earlier. Both only took about a week, it's just waiting for their cues. If you do it too early it's pain for everyone involved. Don't feel pressured from anyone.
Mum #12: There was some resistance from both boys for about a week, but with toilet training charts etc. they slowly got the hang of it. Girls are meant to get it quicker and drier! No 2 is still having accidents before he knows to go and it's been nearly 9 months of undies now! None of us mind. My fault - I forget to do the hourly reminder to go. Easily by 2 1/2 y.o.
Mum #13: A wise person once told me, "If the parents are toilet trained, then the children will be too!" [Guess which 2 sisters responded to my question on Facebook, with the same answers?!]
Mum #14: My advice would be look for cues eg- sometimes she might actually stop what she's doing and realize she is weeing then use that to talk about going to toilet etc... Everyone has their own way of doing it and some start early some later, with kiara I followed "the book" and it was more stressful than anything and I took her to doctors thinking something was wrong with her he gave me best advice wait for her and I've done that with other 2 and been much more successful you can always encourage to by taking Little Spring to choose her own knickers. Do what works for you two and follow your mother instinct; better to be patient and get it right then rush it because somebody tells you it's time.
Mum #15: Caleb has a star chart and if he did a wee he got a star. If he got 5 stars in a day he got a Chocky Frog. If he got 5 stars a day for 7 days he got a match box car. Poo's was a whole different story.I asked him about every 45 minutes to start with and made sure I was home most of the day. He was not quite 3 and after two weeks we had no wet pants - again poo's a whole other story!
Mum #16: We are only just approaching this milestone with Micah. I found this article helpful: http://www.regardingbaby.org/2011/11/28/toilet-learning-made-easy/ As a result, I purchased a couple of the books she recommended and Micah LOVES them. He wants to read them at bed time every night!! He hasn't used the potty yet but he is doing LOTS of potty role playing and conversation. I know he will get there and will just follow his cues while providing an environment that encourages the use of the potty.
Mum #17: I agree with the others who say to wait until they are ready. Just after Ruby turned two she was ready, but we were so busy with end of year stuff and Christmas that we missed our opportunity. Also as her big disabled brother is still in nappies we didn't push the issue. She asked to go a couple times during the year but it wasn't until the week before her third birthday when she said "mum, I want to wear knickers now", got some Dora ones for her birthday and never looked back. Well, I exaggerate, it wasn't that easy.. Lots of accidents, especially when over-tired or distracted, but a couple of months later I thought 'wow I haven't had an accident in a while'. The same thing happened with night nappies a few months later.
Mum #18: We let H pick a potty and some undies a while back and talked to him about big boys wearing undies. We'd ask him occasionally if he wanted to use the potty or wear undies and he'd say "soon". My folks were over at Easter and he decided to go into undies then. I then just kept reminding him to keep his undies dry and use the potty if he needed to go. I had a packet of these Cadbury tiny egg-shaped M&M things and gave him one when he produced something in potty in addition to lavish praise. Took about a week and a half -set back a bit as he wouldn't use potty at child care. So we're lucky in that when he decided he was ready, he just got it.
Mum #19: After telling me for a few weeks when he had a dirty nappy, a week before master 3's birthday I started sitting him on the potty in front of the tv for 10 mins immediately after breakfast (a treat for him!), just to get him used it. After a week he actually used it, and he was rewarded with a mini M&M from a tube I had bought. I told him he could get more if he used the potty more, and he was successful a few more times that day, but the next day he used it something like 20 times to get a choc! I ended alternating between the chocs and a bottle of bubbles that he could blow after using the potty. Only had a few accidents, but with constant reminding about needing to wee (you need to wee before we do such-and-such) he very easily made the transition to the toilet. I think that was the main thing - we had him in jocks from when he started using the potty, then I made it that he had to pee before we did anything (before morning tea, before we went outside, before we went in the car etc), and made it clear that we weren't going anywhere until he had been.
He chose his own jocks at the shop. He had been waiting until night time for a nappy for number 2s for the first 3 nights, so we set up a reward chart to encourage number 2's, and he was able to pick a small car at the shop after 10 stars. We flew to Sydney for a weekend on day 3 of training (not ideal timing, but he was ready and we didn't want to stop him), and rewarded him with a bigger chocolate when he was successful with number 2's for the first time on the toilet. Only one accident that weekend and that was when we didn't ask him to wee before he fell asleep in the pram. We restricted drinks after tea and he has only wet a handful of times overnight since training. We didn't want him to be dependent on pull-ups so we only used them for a couple of weeks, cos I know too many 5 year-olds who still need to wear them. For a while, if he refused to go to the toilet before bed we'd tell him that he needed to wear a pull-up, and he decided before long that he was a big boy and wanted to wear jocks. Definitely helped that he was ready. The right incentive helps too (helps with all manner of 'training'), but it doesn't have to be expensive or too excessive (I never thought a bottle of bubbles and mini M&M's would work for toilet training, but it did!!).
Saturday, June 16, 2012
A Special Mummy-Daughter Day
On Saturday, while Big Spring went to Synod, Little Spring and I headed out to Seaworld for a very special Mummy-Daughter day. I didn't realise just how special it would be until we were there. We got there very close to the opening time, to make the most of the day. I used Little Spring as a gauge, to see when we should go home (i.e. when she got tired and/or grumpy, I would take that as my cue to head back to our apartment where we were staying). Much to my amazement, except for one little outburst just before lunch, Little Spring was wonderful the whole day. She was truly in her element and I enjoyed sharing the time with her. Here's how the day unfolded:
Welcome to Seaworld!
Checking out the penguins... just like "Happy Feet"!
Little Spring seeing some dolphins up close for the first time (and bringing back memories of when I was at Seaworld when I was 16 or so, when I first fell in love with them!)
Resident polar bear!
Looking at all the stingrays. We could pat them, but Little Spring wasn't keen! I touched a few though!
Little Spring absolutely LOVED the dolphin show, and so did I! On my life bucket list is to swim with dolphins... one day!
Sponge Bob Square Pants parade. First ever experience with Sponge Bob and not overly impressed. Thankfully Little Spring wasn't too taken by it all, so isn't insisting on watching more!
A very cute, excited little girl having her lunch on the lawn. Stocking up on energy for a very big day!
Waiting for Sponge Bob 3D movie to start... thought I'd give him a second chance after the parade. Alas, a big disappointment and confirmed that it won't be a regular viewing in our house!
After looking at all the animals, it was time for some fun on the rides... wasn't sure how she'd go on the carousel as the last and only time she's been on one (in the States in a shopping mall), she hated it and cried and clung to me the whole time. This time, however, she absolutely loved it! I did capture her enjoyment on video, but the file is too big to load...
Next ride, a plane! Little Spring was in her element, considering how much she loves flying in a real plane. She was even able to make this one go up and down by herself!
Dora the Explorer show - we've never watched Dora on TV before, but Little Spring got the hang of it pretty quickly... she certainly loves her dancing!
Shark watching from the safety of behind the glass!
A beautiful blue-sky rainbow turned very vivid when the sky turned grey very quickly!
2nd last ride for the day, which I discovered just before we started heading home... can't believe I'd missed it earlier in the day, not that we didn't already have plenty to do! The sacrifices of a parent. By this stage it had begun to rain lightly... Little Spring was kept nice and dry in the cabin of the truck, but I had to sit on the top, exposed to the elements! She was too short to ride by herself, so I stuck it out in the rain for her enjoyment!
The very last ride for the day and I'm REALLY glad that I found it right before we left... it must have been Little Spring's absolute favourite ride of the day. Considering how much she loves turbulence on a plane, this would have been right up her alley. I was hoping to upload a video, but unfortunately it's too big again. Every time the seat dropped, she laughed so much! My grown up girl - her first ride all by herself (all the other rides, I had to accompany her, which was fine by me!)
We very unexpectedly lasted a whole day and it was time to go home. The sun was setting and getting dark quickly! I managed to snap this quickly as we headed towards the park entrance (we left right on closing time!).
Time for one final photo before heading back to the apartment... I hadn't taken any of the two of us all day, so thought I better mark this special occasion with a picture!
I wasn't surprised to turn around in the car and see Little Spring sound asleep! A big day for her - she did so well and I was so proud of how well-behaved and happy she was for almost the entire day!
Adventures and Play Dates
The Spring family recently traveled down to Brisbane so Big Spring could attend Pastors' Conference. While he was there, Little Spring and I hung out with some dear friends. We did this last year as well, while Kim's husband and Big Spring hung out at the Conference. Here's what we got up to (very kid focused as you can see!)...
Wednesday:
we walked to the local shopping centre for lunch
had fun in the play ground (loving the static in Little Spring's very fine hair!)
chilled back at home (can never take a candid picture if Little Miss Photogenic is aware of the camera being out!)
showed lots of 'love' to Samuel, Evie's little brother who we finally got to meet
Thursday
Little Spring and Evie get their groove on at Tiddlywinks (THE best concept ever - a cafe for the mums to sit and eat/drink and a huge dance floor for the kids to dance around on, with a very interactive, very kid-friendly DJ) (With rhythm like that, Little Spring is definitely going to be having dance lessons sooner rather than later!)
Kim and I headed out to a mummies only dessert evening after dinner. I ordered the Baci cake... the plate was a work of art!
Friday
An annual event - the playschool concert!
Little Spring loves being a surrogate big sister to Samuel!
Disappointed this photos is upside down - I love Little Spring's big eyes in this one as she cuddles her new Jamima doll (last year at the Playschool concert, she got Humphrey!).
Playing chasey on the big oval after a fun time at the concert.
Later in the afternoon, I packed up our bags and the car, while the boys finished up at Pastors' Conference, ready for our drive down to the Gold Coast... stay tuned for the next installment of our southern adventures!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
#35 (36 to 36)
I've been a busy beaver today and managed to complete a task that I can cross off my 36 to 36 list. Number 35 already:
I'm not usually one to blow my own horn so boldly, but I must say, I'm pretty proud of how it looks, I think because it turned out a lot better than I'd expected (especially with dramas I'd been having with my colour printer). I designed the calendar and cards myself, printed them off, laminated them, cut out the task cards and voila - see for yourself:
If you are interested in having one of these Weekly Activity List for yourself, I'd be happy to customise one just for you and send it off. Just let me know and I'll work out how much it will cost. I can customise the colour of the calendar, the words to go on the task cards and the colours used to colour code the type of tasks.
So, 1 task down, 35 to go!
Instead of just doing a basic paper one that I write on each week and then throw out when the week's finished, I decided to go all out and print up something pretty and laminate it, with matching laminated cards for the tasks. I was going to use Velcro to attach the tasks to the calendar, but went with blue tack instead. I think the Velcro would be too fiddly and I realised that if it was stuck on the calendar, you couldn't write on it if you wanted (using a whiteboard marker, you could add any additional notes or the non-regular appointments/tasks you had in that particular week).Create a weekly planner. I already have my diary for 'appointments' and know all the regular things I need to do each week, but I want to plan my week better, so I can better manage my time. (i.e. have a set blogging day/time and a strict time of when I work on my Avon business etc.) and hopefully have more quality time with Little Spring during the day, more quality time with Big Spring in the evenings and earlier nights (so I can achieve #8, #18, #20 and #25).
I'm not usually one to blow my own horn so boldly, but I must say, I'm pretty proud of how it looks, I think because it turned out a lot better than I'd expected (especially with dramas I'd been having with my colour printer). I designed the calendar and cards myself, printed them off, laminated them, cut out the task cards and voila - see for yourself:
The Calendar - Slightly smaller than A3 when placed together (2 A4 calendars put together to make one)
The Task Cards - colour coordinated depending on the type of task
The finished look! Based on my calendar for when we return from our trip down south in the coming weeks
If you are interested in having one of these Weekly Activity List for yourself, I'd be happy to customise one just for you and send it off. Just let me know and I'll work out how much it will cost. I can customise the colour of the calendar, the words to go on the task cards and the colours used to colour code the type of tasks.
So, 1 task down, 35 to go!
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Manners
In my inbox, I recently received an email from "Baby Centre", a website I've been subscribed to since before Little Spring was even born. It took me through her size in my womb each week. Then, when she was born, it took me through her approximate development stages etc. I'm still receiving the emails, but now that Little Spring is much older, the emails are a lot broader.
I found the latest post very interesting. It was titled: "Your 2-Year Old: Intro to Manners". It went on to say:
I was actually a little baffled by this statement. I never considered that manners were 'age appropriate' considerations. From the moment Little Spring was able to talk, we taught her to say please and thank you (ta). She was even at a point quite a while ago (and still is now), where she will continue to say "ta" until you reply with "you're welcome." (We've had to warn people of this, to ensure they don't get an onslaught of ta's because they didn't know how to be compliant!). Little Spring has also started to pick up saying "you're welcome."
I can't imagine not having taught Little Spring until now, especially with how well she uses her manners. Of course, sometimes we have to prompt her, but she understands the concept and will use manners more often than not. She understands what we mean when we say "where are your manners?" and will promptly use them appropriately.
She's even learned excuse me, which I was quite surprised by! The other day, I was doing some cooking at the stove. Little Spring came in carrying her steps (for the bathroom, to reach the sink), which she brings in to 'help' me in the kitchen. I was obviously in her way, which she had no hesitation in advising me by saying "excuse me" quite clearly! I then had to politely tell her that she couldn't stand in front of the stove because it was dangerous, but I was very proud of her using her manners all the same.
I think the most confusing things for kids is teaching them "please" whenever they ask for something. They learn the concept, but get a bit confused thinking that by using that 'magic' word, they'll get exactly what they ask for no matter what. Unfortunately it's a hard lesson to learn that "please" doesn't actually guarantee a positive response to their request. Please should always be used, but it doesn't always get what you want!
When Little Spring uses please to ask for something I don't want her to have, I make an effort to praise her for using her manners, but try to explain that it was right that she said the word, but it doesn't mean she'll always get what she asks for. Does an almost (in 3 months!) 3-year old get that concept? Poor Little Spring. If she really wants something, she'll then plead with me, with just one word "please?". Over and over, and over again!
Anyway, this post isn't to brag about how wonderful Little Spring is (although we do think she's pretty wonderful!), but to put forward my confusion regarding an appropriate time to start teaching children manners!
Maybe it's just how I was raised, but if you are a parent, when did you teach your children manners and if you aren't a parent, how old would you expect a child to be before they started using manners with you?
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Game Changer
As a parent, you go through many milestones with your child. Of course, all of them are significant, but some seem more of a Game Changer than others. Take walking for example. It's a gradual process with a few steps (excuse the pun!) involved. After learning to crawl, the child then learns to pull themselves up. They then start to 'cruise' along furniture. Next stage is standing up for a few seconds by themselves, which turns into longer seconds, which becomes their first cautious step, mutating into many cautious steps. Then they're walking... and low and behold, running! Each of these stages leading up to walking is amazing and as parents, we are very proud of our child. But it's such a gradual process, with a number of stages leading up to the actual walking stage and each stage prepares us a little bit more for each coming stage. We're not 'suddenly' presented with a child who's running and walking all around the house. We were eased into it a little with each stage!
Game Changers is a term I started using Thursday night. I'm using it for milestones that a child achieves suddenly and changes your whole routine etc. I don't think there are a lot of them, as so many things are such a gradual process.
However, over the past 2 nights, Little Spring had a Game Changer milestone. But first, let me take you back a few months...
A 'big girl's' bed has been set up in Little Spring's room for a long time, along with her cot. One night, she asked to sleep in the bed, instead of her cot and we said yes, as long as she didn't get out of bed, at all. There were no chances (are we harsh parents?!) and we explained that if she got out even once, she would have to go back into her cot. Five minutes (or maybe less!) after putting her in bed, she was out, so she was put straight into the cot for the night.
This happened a couple more times over the space of a few weeks, but each time she got out not long after going to bed, so it was straight back into the cot each time. I don't know if she gave up on the idea, but she stopped asking to sleep in the big bed and we didn't offer it.
Flash forward to 2 nights ago... we were sitting on the big bed, after getting her into her pjs for the night. Little Spring asked if she could sleep in the bed and I went through the rule with her - "get out even once and you have to get back in the cot." She agreed, and climbed in under the sheets. We said prayers while she lay quietly and after kissing her goodnight, I reminded her of the rule. I turned off the light and left the room.
I checked on her 3 times. The first time, she was sitting up in bed, but not out of bed, so I told her to lay down. The second time, she was lying down, but still awake and didn't stir when I went in. The third time I was completely shocked (I was already shocked the first 2 times as she had lasted at least half an hour!), but I was completely shocked by the fact that she was asleep... in the big bed!
When Big Spring got home from a meeting, we moved her cot mattress to beside her bed, just in case she fell out. Because of a shelf near the bed, the cot mattress, was half under the bed, but was adequate in case she fell out.
We then went to bed. The next morning (around 6:15 or so) I was woken up by Little Spring's cry out for me. I drowsily opened my eyes then, remembering she was in the big bed, fully woke up and shot out of bed to make sure she was okay. I walked into her room and saw she wasn't in bed. I looked around the room and couldn't see her anywhere, so thought she must have gone for a wander and gotten confused where she was. I went to walk out the room, but heard her cry out again, the sound coming from the room.
The only place she could be was under the bed. I lifted the cover, and there she was - poor little darling had obviously fallen out of bed, onto the cot mattress. But then she'd managed to roll off that too, so that she was on the other side of the mattress, way under the bed, near the wall!
Last night she was a very good girl and slept right through. We propped the cot mattress up using the previously mentioned shelf as support so that it was more of a guard than a cushion in case of fall and it worked a treat... she didn't roll out at all. Instead, at just before 6:30 this morning, I woke up and sensed Little Spring was in our room, but thought I was probably imagining it, until I felt a gentle touch on my leg!
This is why I call Little Spring's graduation from the cot to the bed a Game Changer... we no longer have control over when she gets up. We've been blessed with a very good sleeper and often weren't required to get out of bed until anywhere between 7am and 8:30am... yep, Little Spring could be that good! She wasn't always asleep until then, but wouldn't always call out for us until later, giving us a bit of a sleep in.
Now that she's able to get up as soon as she wakes up, she doesn't just stay in her bed quietly. Why would she when the whole world is at her feet now!
So, goodbye 'sleep ins'. Hello personal alarm... (There's no snooze button on this one! When she was in her cot, she was still an alarm, but we had more control on when we had to get up!)
Game Changers is a term I started using Thursday night. I'm using it for milestones that a child achieves suddenly and changes your whole routine etc. I don't think there are a lot of them, as so many things are such a gradual process.
However, over the past 2 nights, Little Spring had a Game Changer milestone. But first, let me take you back a few months...
A 'big girl's' bed has been set up in Little Spring's room for a long time, along with her cot. One night, she asked to sleep in the bed, instead of her cot and we said yes, as long as she didn't get out of bed, at all. There were no chances (are we harsh parents?!) and we explained that if she got out even once, she would have to go back into her cot. Five minutes (or maybe less!) after putting her in bed, she was out, so she was put straight into the cot for the night.
This happened a couple more times over the space of a few weeks, but each time she got out not long after going to bed, so it was straight back into the cot each time. I don't know if she gave up on the idea, but she stopped asking to sleep in the big bed and we didn't offer it.
Flash forward to 2 nights ago... we were sitting on the big bed, after getting her into her pjs for the night. Little Spring asked if she could sleep in the bed and I went through the rule with her - "get out even once and you have to get back in the cot." She agreed, and climbed in under the sheets. We said prayers while she lay quietly and after kissing her goodnight, I reminded her of the rule. I turned off the light and left the room.
I checked on her 3 times. The first time, she was sitting up in bed, but not out of bed, so I told her to lay down. The second time, she was lying down, but still awake and didn't stir when I went in. The third time I was completely shocked (I was already shocked the first 2 times as she had lasted at least half an hour!), but I was completely shocked by the fact that she was asleep... in the big bed!
When Big Spring got home from a meeting, we moved her cot mattress to beside her bed, just in case she fell out. Because of a shelf near the bed, the cot mattress, was half under the bed, but was adequate in case she fell out.
We then went to bed. The next morning (around 6:15 or so) I was woken up by Little Spring's cry out for me. I drowsily opened my eyes then, remembering she was in the big bed, fully woke up and shot out of bed to make sure she was okay. I walked into her room and saw she wasn't in bed. I looked around the room and couldn't see her anywhere, so thought she must have gone for a wander and gotten confused where she was. I went to walk out the room, but heard her cry out again, the sound coming from the room.
The only place she could be was under the bed. I lifted the cover, and there she was - poor little darling had obviously fallen out of bed, onto the cot mattress. But then she'd managed to roll off that too, so that she was on the other side of the mattress, way under the bed, near the wall!
Last night she was a very good girl and slept right through. We propped the cot mattress up using the previously mentioned shelf as support so that it was more of a guard than a cushion in case of fall and it worked a treat... she didn't roll out at all. Instead, at just before 6:30 this morning, I woke up and sensed Little Spring was in our room, but thought I was probably imagining it, until I felt a gentle touch on my leg!
This is why I call Little Spring's graduation from the cot to the bed a Game Changer... we no longer have control over when she gets up. We've been blessed with a very good sleeper and often weren't required to get out of bed until anywhere between 7am and 8:30am... yep, Little Spring could be that good! She wasn't always asleep until then, but wouldn't always call out for us until later, giving us a bit of a sleep in.
Now that she's able to get up as soon as she wakes up, she doesn't just stay in her bed quietly. Why would she when the whole world is at her feet now!
So, goodbye 'sleep ins'. Hello personal alarm... (There's no snooze button on this one! When she was in her cot, she was still an alarm, but we had more control on when we had to get up!)
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