Miracles

Do you believe in them?  Miracles? I'd like to think I do, but always get shocked when they happen, especially to me.

My latest miracle happened yesterday.  For those long time readers/friends/family, you will probably recall that just over 5 years ago, I had surgery on my ear for a perforated eardrum.  It was a successful surgery in that the perforation healed, but I never got full hearing back in my ear.

A few months ago (a week from the 5th anniversary of my surgery), through an ear infection I had, my doctor diagnosed another perforation.  I was devastated.  The idea of having to have surgery again filled me with dread, not because of the surgery itself, but because of the post-op condition.  The first time I had surgery wasn't all roses, but it was easy for me just to lie in bed and rest and not have to worry about too much.  Now, as a mum, post-op isn't quite as simple as lying in bed, getting the rest I need!  Little Spring doesn't really understand, even though she's very caring and sensitive (when I rolled my ankle at basketball, she knew that "Mummy's foot hurts" and when I had my ear infection, she understood that "Mummy's ear hurts" and would often give me kisses to make it better), but trying to help a child understand that they can't climb all over you, or get up and run around and play, that is a difficult thing!

And then, when I discovered I been offered my new job, I was dreading the idea of having to tell them that I'd need time off for a surgery, plus recovery time... not a good way to start a job!

So, I headed off to the specialist (ENT) after my GP discovered the perforation. The ENT told me to keep it dry and come back in 3 weeks after the infection was gone.  When I went back, he saw that the perforation was still there and said that we could either proceed with surgery now, or try again in 6 weeks and see if it had healed itself (50/50 chance).  I didn't hold high hopes, but said to wait and see what happened to try and avoid surgery.

Yesterday was my 6 week check up and I went with a heavy heart.  I start my new on Monday and really didn't want to go in with bad news.  I said a quick prayer to God as I was driving there, feeling guilty that this one prayer was meant to fix everything, when I hadn't really been praying about it at all since the last appointment.  My desperate plea not for surgery, but not really believing that what I was praying for could possibly be answered, especially when this was the only, almost token, prayer I'd offered on the matter.

When my name was called in the waiting room, my heart sunk (both because of the bad news I was about to hear and because I was enjoying reading a book in silence, uninterrupted - book reading doesn't happen very often for me anymore!).  I gave a big sigh and got up.

I sat in the usual chair and waited while the ENT read my file.  I was just thinking, get on with it, check my ear and give me the bad news already!  He finally grabbed his instruments and had a look.  Yep, bad news... the perforation was still there.  I didn't think it could, but my heart sunk that little bit more.

The ENT then asked me to blow air through it.  When that request was met with silence and a questioning glance, he said to hold my nose, take a deep breath and blow through my nose.  I've never liked doing that for the popping sensation and with my perforation, was even more scared to do so, so gave it a half-hearted effort.  He asked if I could feel the air and when I said, no, he said that it was possible that there was a small patch over the perforation and it might be healing itself.

So, he wanted to have a look at it through the microscope to see.  At this point I was a little embarrassed.  He was going to see that there wasn't a patch and it was just my pathetic attempt at blowing air that caused me not to actually feel anything.

We walked into the next room and I hopped up on the special chair.  It reclined like a dentist's chair and then it was time.  Time to get busted and humiliated for not blowing properly.  He stuck his microscope in my ear and had a look around.

After he pulled it out he said something I couldn't possibly believe.  There was, in fact, a small patch over the perforation and my wonderful body was healing itself!  A miracle indeed!  No surgery required!  I could feel tears stinging my eyes I was so happy and relieved!

He said that I should continue to keep the ear dry (yes, sir!) and not to blow it too hard (okay, I have a cold at the moment, but gentle nose blowing it is!) and it will hopefully continue to heal itself.  Now I just need to wait 6 weeks until I go back to him and have it checked again.

I practically skipped back to the car, holding back tears of joy.  I was in absolute shock.  My ear was healing itself.  God answered my prayer.  A miracle had occurred.  I felt unworthy of the miracle because of my doubt, but so, so happy!

Thank you, LORD, for answering my prayer.  The prayer of a woman with much faith in God, but little faith in her prayers.  Thank goodness prayers aren't answered, and people aren't healed, based on the level of faith a person has.

God be praised for God is Good!

I think Mary sums up my feels quite well:

And Mary said: “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me - holy is his name. His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation.  He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty.  He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, just as he promised our ancestors.” (Luke 1:46-55)